She outgrew me.
Like one might outgrow a toy, like the way I recently outgrew Spongebob.
She outgrew me, like a child would outgrow his toddler clothes. She wanted to be a babe, to hang out with the cool girls. She cut her hair low and went to live with them on the school compound; she was still pretty despite the hair cut, boys always flocked around her; she dazzled them with her smile, despite the fact that she’d recently gotten railway tracks on her teeth, I think she thought they added to her coolness. I don’t know.
She was interested in tight-fitted clothes, her figure was developing; she was more invested in make-up and cool boys, she was now part of the in-crowd. He asked her out and she said yes, she was his girlfriend, they were now dating; stealing kisses at the back of the class and in other secluded areas.
I blanched, but not out of fear, probably shock.
My first kiss was still a mere fantasy, still is in fact, I think about it mostly when I’m reading novels. I wasn’t invested in dating, I didn’t have a boyfriend, just several crushes; to be part of the cool kids – the in-crowd , was over-rated to me, I felt it was pointless.
I didn’t do make-up, lip gloss irritated me, all yucky and sticky and gooey; I didnt slim-fit my clothes, despite the fact that it could take someone who was two times my size, my gown was long and big, but I didn’t care so long it was neat and well pressed; I didn’t care much about my figure, I was tall and skinny, lanky in one word and I wasn’t bothered; I didn’t care if boys thought I was pretty or not, I never even gave thought to the matter. Besides, the boys around me were still stupid and immature at that point.
I wasn’t interested in being a babe, I was interested in cooler things like watching Cartoon Network and Nickelodeon, reading modern classics like Harry Potter, Percy Jackson and Twilight, going on Facebook and learning to use social media.
It isn’t a mystery she outgrew me huh?
It started out small. She’d wait for me to say hi before she did, she wouldn’t meet my eyes if we met on the corridor, she stopped completely to seek me out, she didn’t talk to me about the guys she fancied anymore, she wouldn’t even wait for me on the stairs, and if I called out to her she’d walk faster and pretend she didn’t hear me. The last time she did that I followed her to the bottom of the stairs, when I got to her she gave me this stupid playful smile, braces shining in the sun, like it was all a silly joke.
That was when I officially gave up on her. I stopped completely. I wouldn’t meet her eyes on the corridor, I didn’t bother to say hi, I stopped to seek her out, I didn’t even bother myself when I saw her on the stairs, I just ignored her and kept walking. She was dead to me at that point.
She made new friends and so did I. She had a new clique with the cool girls, me, I made friends who turned out to be sisters in the end. We were all crazy and naughty misfits, we made a mockery of the stupid status quo, we couldn’t care less if they thought we were cool or not, it wasn’t as if we were out to impress anyone, we didn’t even want them to think we were cool. We were AWESOME and we knew it. We laughed at them when they tried to be cool in our faces, we mimicked and mocked them and we laughed because they mostly seemed like a group of phonies.
As the years passed, me and her fell apart completely. I disliked her at some point, but I got over it… I think. We stopped to relate completely, leaving it to the occasional Hi and Hello, which was mostly done for courtsey’s sake. I think about her sometimes and I think:
This used to be my best friend.
She outgrew me, but I didnt. I never outgrew her, I let her go.
A/N: Share this post if you have that one friend that you were once close to, but fell apart with completely. I love my friends, I hate fighting with them and I hate losing them even more, but life happens.
I haven’t posted anything in a while so I felt that I should drop this, I’d like to receive feedback from you guys, don’t be scared to comment, you can put an anonymous name if you want, I just want to hear from my wonderful readers.
Tata for now.