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WITH WARMEST WISHES FROM ME II

I don’t ever want you to think that I can’t live without you, or that you are irreplaceable. 
I once had a life without you, and it won’t be difficult to go back to it. So yes, I can live without you, I’ve done it before. 

I’ve had a life without you. Yes. 
But that was because I didn’t know you, I hadn’t met you. Now that I have, it’s hard to imagine my life without you, you’ve become like an extension of my being, my other half and I don’t want to ever imagine a life where I have to be separated from you. 

I’m a living, breathing paradox, I know, but what I’m basically saying here is: it will hurt me to let you go, but that doesn’t mean I can’t.

_______

Heyo guys, sooooooooooo I did this post real early cause I’m gonna be having exams for the next 2 weeks, so I’m going on blog holiday for the duration of the 2 weeks.

What I’m basically saying is: I’m not updating till Monday 13th February. I’m so sorry please bear with me, but I need to be 100% focused for my exams. Thanks for your understanding. 

Yours till the milk shakes, 

🍔 Cheeseburger. 

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EXP #1

EXP #1.8

“Try this on” the Slave Master/Damiloju dumped a bag on my lap. 

I was in the living room sprawled on the setee, two days after his parents had come by. He’d just finished with his dinner and had passed by me, going up the stairs at that point I thought he was retiring for the night, but here he was now. 

“What’s this?” I asked eyeing the paper bag, it was colour white and had pink and black fancy designs on it. 

All he did was to give me his classic look, which said many things depending on the circumstances, but this one basically said like most times ‘stop questioning me and do what I said’

I peeked into the bag and brought out its content, it was wrapped in a transparent plastic box which I went on to open, it was a dress, a beautiful black dress, I wasn’t the best at identifying materials so I didn’t know what it was made of.

“Try it on” he said impatiently, reminding me of his presence that I’d temporarilly forgotten in my awe of the dress. 

I stood up from where I sat and went on to my room to try it on. 

The dress fit me perfectly, it was a black and armless midi-gown and it fit like a glove. 

I stepped out of my room and into the living room, he gave me a once-over and nodded his head showing his approval. 

“Can I ask why you bought me a nice dress? Not like I’m being ungrateful or anything but…”

“My mom invited us to a friend’s daughter’s engagement”

“That relationship is so stressful, but why are we invited, it’s not even her event”

“Well, it’s her close friend’s event and since she thinks I’m already dating she’s trying to get me back into the social circle and stuff like that” he answered to my surprise. I was so shocked at his answer, I was already used to him shrugging off my questions or giving me one word answers or just being his usual closed-off self that I asked my question without even expecting one, and he surprised me.

“When exactly was the last time you dated?” my curiosity had gotten the better of me at this point and if he could answer one question I was willing to push my luck.  

He tensed his jaw before saying “That’s none of your business” and proceeded to stalk out of the living room, probably back to his room. 

And his closed-off self was back.

_______

Okay this is short, but I’m having exams on Monday, bear with me. I’m sooooooooooo sorry it came late also. 

Next post tomorrow. 

A.N.T.I.C.I.P.A.T.E

<<EXP #1.7

>>EXP #1.9

🍔 Cheeseburger

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Uncategorized

WITH WARMEST WISHES FROM ME

I’ll act like I don’t know what’s up, I’ll put on a face. 

I’ll behave like nothing is wrong, like everything is still in place. 

I’m not gonna do anything, no one will know what’s up. 

But on the day I decide to go, no one will be able to tell me: Stop! 

_______

I don’t know if I’m having the worst case of writers block or if it’s just everything around me that’s to blame, but my creative juices are not flowing like I would want them to this night. I’ve been with my phone for over an hour trying to work on a post, I already made 3 drafts in fact! 

This was the first, and I just decided to drop it like it is. 

Good night all, sorry it’s coming in late. 

🍔 Cheeseburger. 

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ME AND MY THOUGHTS 

So Kole came to my house this evening and told me that he wasn’t feeling our relationship anymore and he felt that we should take a break. 

And my mind has been in limbo since then, as in, I don’t get, it’s not making sense. Of course I acted cool and mature all about it when he was at my place, but as soon I escorted him out of the compound I had a nervous breakdown more or less. 

I’ve walked around my compound about 4 times now and the neighbours are beginning to send surreptitious glances in my direction as I pass by. They probably think I’m on my way to Crazyland, I think I might be also. I don’t know, but I might be on the verge of craziness, there’s no one to talk to. 
No one is home with me, my parents travelled with our lastborn to process his admission, while my big brother went out for a party and my sister is basically never at home. I would have called Ellie, my best friend, she usually knows what to do at times like this, but this night just had to be the night she had the night-shift at the teaching hospital where she’s training to be a nurse, I found myself at my front door, I’d rather take another stroll around the compound, but I’m scared of my neighbours, they sometimes give me the creeps. 

I let myself into the house, this just had to be the day NEPA decides to fuck up royally, nothing is working out this night. What is wrong with Nigeria??? 

I switched on a rechargeable lamp and plopped myself on the first settee I saw and exhaled deeply and most audibly. 

Kole was like my first very serious relationship and  I just don’t get. 

Why will he want to take a break? 

Is he really too caught up in school and office work to have time for me as he should like he said? 

Who am I kidding, that probably was the worst made-up excuse in the history of worst made-up excuses. Like ever. 

Maybe I was no longer fun to him, what does that even mean, I’ve not changed from who I was 6 months ago when I met Kole, or could he have gotten tired of me? Was he so used to me that our relationship had lost its spontaneity and spark? 

Or maybe it was that Amarachi girl. Kole met her last month somewhere somehow and they’d hit it off immediately, chatting, texting and calling themselves. At the point I had nearly gotten mad at Kole entering Jealous Girlfriend Mode anytime her name was mentioned or I saw her name on his phone. Ellie had advised me to stop, saying guys don’t like jealous girlfriends and all, so I’d tried my very best to be level-headed, and what was my reward for level-headedness? 

My boyfriend asked to take a break today, maybe it would be a break-up story tomorrow, then he’d probably start dating Amarachi the day after tomorrow and next year I’ll probably recieve a cute envelope inviting me to wear peach and lavender to the Wedding of the Year, then I’d be too slighted and heartbroken to ever date again and end up as a wrinkled single lady waiting for her day of manifestation till the day of my death and then I’ll be survived probably by my younger brother and all my siblings’ children who would all shake their heads at my funeral, not having any significant memories of me because I chose to spend the rest of my life secluded and isolated from the world. 

My phone beeped next to me just then, jolting me back to reality. A reality where I wasn’t an old single lady being survived by her nieces and nephews. A reality where Kole wasn’t with Amarachi, a reality where my boyfriend had only just asked for a break from our relationship for reasons best known to him.
I hate being alone. I tend to think and over think and imagine all sorts of stupid things when I’m alone with my thoughts. 

Sigh. 

_______

I dunno why this piece makes me remember Boro, abeg anyone who knows Adeboro in real life should tell her to please remember her blog o! 

You can check her out at http://www.adeboro.com, she is literary dopeness.

Next post on Sunday

🍔 Cheeseburger out. 

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EXP #1

EXP #1.7

I stood numb and dumb as the Slave Master’s mother rushed forward to hug me. 

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” the woman said after she let me go

The Slave Master gave me a look which basically meant I shouldn’t ruin his mum’s happiness “Mum, this is Brino” then turning to me he said “Brino, meet my mum”

“Brino? What kind of name is that?” the Slave Master’s mother asked. 

“Manebrino, Brino is the shortened version, it’s an Urhobo name”

Turning to her son she beamed “I like her, and she seems a whole lot better than that Bewaji girl”

“Mum, enough” the Slave Master said to his mother. 

“Why don’t we all step in” the Slave Master’s father said from behind. 

“Yes please” I muttered, right before we all went into the house.  

So the Slave Master’s parents decided to pay him an impromptu visit, using the saying of Muhammad and the mountain as they explained why they came around. We all ate dinner together and the Slave Master’s father commended my cooking, after which we all sat together in the living room to gist, and God knows, there had never been anything in my life weirder than playing mushy mushy with the Slave Master. Keeping eye contact for over 15 seconds, smiling at one another, squeezing hands– oh jeez, I didn’t get myself

“So D.J when next should we expect you to come by the house”

Trust Nigerian mothers to blackmail their children into doing their wishes.

“D.J?” I asked aloud.

“Yes, short form for Damiloju” his mum answered.

I eyes quickly flew to the Slave Master who gave me a warning look before saying “Just like Manebrino is shortened to Brino, Damiloju is to D.J” his voice came out smooth and cool and the look I got afterwards clearly meant I should keep my thoughts -and words- to myself.

“Damiloju” I tested the name on my lips with a smirk as he continued to stare me down.

 .

“How did you know my name?” I said the Slave Master as soon as his parents’ car drove out of the building 

“What?”

“How did you know my name? You never for once asked for it, how did you know?”

The Slave Master -Damiloju, gave me a blank look “I was told” he said finally. 

“By who?” I persisted, I’d tried, and succeeded to hide my shock when he’d introduced me to his mother, but I couldn’t help but find out how he knew my name. 

“You were in custody weren’t you? Before I bailed you out, what name did you put on all the things they had you write?”

I racked my brain “Esther” I said finally “my official name is Esther, I wrote Esther when the FIRS–”

“I see what you’re trying to do” the Slave Master/Damiloju cut me off before I could finish speaking “you’re trying to stall because I was about to punish you for running away before my parents came around”
Switching back to his usual menacing self that I was used to, he stepped up towards me, jaw clenched. 

“Try rubbish like that with me ever again and you’ll regret it”

With that he stalked off inside, leaving me standing on my own totally nonplussed. 

______

Heyo guys, sorry it’s coming in late. 

Next post tomorrow 

A.N.T.I.CI.P.A.T.E

<<EXP #1.6

>>EXP #1.8


🍔 Cheeseburger 

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Uncategorized

Musings… 

So, our fellowship president has been telling us during prayer to connect to God and I’ve been asking myself one question ever since then. 

If a million and one people are connected to God, if a million and one people are worshipping him, if a million and one people are raising their voices to him, how will he know which voice was mine? 

🍔 Cheeseburger. 

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poetry

EVERY BLUE SKY

Eyes open I arise, 
The chirping of birds, 
The soothing coolness of dew, 
A wonderful day anew,  
A perfect sky – colour blue.

This blue sky with it brings, 
Chances to do many things, 
To be a better me than I was yesterday, 
To help people in any and every way, 
Wow! The prospects of a brand new day. 

A gift from heaven, 
From day one till seven,
A vast expanse of blue,
Tinged with shades of white hue, 
Beautiful, wonderful, divine. 

Although the sky isn’t always blue,
Night-time black, 
Stormy grey, 
Rumbling with thunder and dismay, 
Or mist which blocks out the light of day.

So, for every not-so-blue sky, 
When sad and I cry, 
For every time I wonder why, 
I should see the ocean above, 
Shine bright with light, with love.

For all the times I wonder why, 
I am opportune to see a brand new sky, 
The dark-black nights, 
That fill me with fright, 
Or dull cement grey, 
When I am all but gay.

All I have to say is thanks, 
Thank you,
For each day anew, 
For the skies, not always blue, 
For all the things you help me do, 
Till the moon comes to say hello. 
Thank you for the dark, orange and purple and blue. 

For every blue sky, I’m saying thank you.

🍔 Cheeseburger.

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