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ME AND MY THOUGHTS 

So Kole came to my house this evening and told me that he wasn’t feeling our relationship anymore and he felt that we should take a break. 

And my mind has been in limbo since then, as in, I don’t get, it’s not making sense. Of course I acted cool and mature all about it when he was at my place, but as soon I escorted him out of the compound I had a nervous breakdown more or less. 

I’ve walked around my compound about 4 times now and the neighbours are beginning to send surreptitious glances in my direction as I pass by. They probably think I’m on my way to Crazyland, I think I might be also. I don’t know, but I might be on the verge of craziness, there’s no one to talk to. 
No one is home with me, my parents travelled with our lastborn to process his admission, while my big brother went out for a party and my sister is basically never at home. I would have called Ellie, my best friend, she usually knows what to do at times like this, but this night just had to be the night she had the night-shift at the teaching hospital where she’s training to be a nurse, I found myself at my front door, I’d rather take another stroll around the compound, but I’m scared of my neighbours, they sometimes give me the creeps. 

I let myself into the house, this just had to be the day NEPA decides to fuck up royally, nothing is working out this night. What is wrong with Nigeria??? 

I switched on a rechargeable lamp and plopped myself on the first settee I saw and exhaled deeply and most audibly. 

Kole was like my first very serious relationship and  I just don’t get. 

Why will he want to take a break? 

Is he really too caught up in school and office work to have time for me as he should like he said? 

Who am I kidding, that probably was the worst made-up excuse in the history of worst made-up excuses. Like ever. 

Maybe I was no longer fun to him, what does that even mean, I’ve not changed from who I was 6 months ago when I met Kole, or could he have gotten tired of me? Was he so used to me that our relationship had lost its spontaneity and spark? 

Or maybe it was that Amarachi girl. Kole met her last month somewhere somehow and they’d hit it off immediately, chatting, texting and calling themselves. At the point I had nearly gotten mad at Kole entering Jealous Girlfriend Mode anytime her name was mentioned or I saw her name on his phone. Ellie had advised me to stop, saying guys don’t like jealous girlfriends and all, so I’d tried my very best to be level-headed, and what was my reward for level-headedness? 

My boyfriend asked to take a break today, maybe it would be a break-up story tomorrow, then he’d probably start dating Amarachi the day after tomorrow and next year I’ll probably recieve a cute envelope inviting me to wear peach and lavender to the Wedding of the Year, then I’d be too slighted and heartbroken to ever date again and end up as a wrinkled single lady waiting for her day of manifestation till the day of my death and then I’ll be survived probably by my younger brother and all my siblings’ children who would all shake their heads at my funeral, not having any significant memories of me because I chose to spend the rest of my life secluded and isolated from the world. 

My phone beeped next to me just then, jolting me back to reality. A reality where I wasn’t an old single lady being survived by her nieces and nephews. A reality where Kole wasn’t with Amarachi, a reality where my boyfriend had only just asked for a break from our relationship for reasons best known to him.
I hate being alone. I tend to think and over think and imagine all sorts of stupid things when I’m alone with my thoughts. 

Sigh. 

_______

I dunno why this piece makes me remember Boro, abeg anyone who knows Adeboro in real life should tell her to please remember her blog o! 

You can check her out at http://www.adeboro.com, she is literary dopeness.

Next post on Sunday

🍔 Cheeseburger out. 

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