LESSONS THE HOLY SPIRIT TAUGHT ME ON PATIENCE
2017 has been a wonderful year for me quite frankly, I did things I’d never have thought myself capable of doing and accomplished some wonderful feats. All these beautiful reports didn’t happen overnight mind you, there was always a constant effort to push and keep pushing, there were lots of frustrating moments, depressing moments, and even sad ones. There was a lot of trial and error involved in my learning process and also times I hated myself for not being good enough and for not being up to standard.
Through it all however, God’s Holy Spirit was there with me to guard, to guide and to teach, and I want to share with you the lesson I learnt on patience this year.
If you ever ask me ‘what fruit of the Spirit do you exercise the least?’ I don’t think I’ll even give a thought before I mention patience. I always tell people that when God was creating me, and depositing in me attributes for my personality, he ran out of stock on patience and just had to send me down to earth without it.
I hate waiting; patience to me is more of a waste of time than a virtue.
I hate waiting in line, I hate waiting for food, I hate waiting for people, I hate waiting for my phone to stop hanging, I hate waiting for anything and everything! Worse off, I hate waiting for myself. I love learning new things, however, if I don’t learn as quickly as I usually do, I start hating myself for not being good enough, I start hating myself for not being able to do whatever, all because I’m not patient enough to wait for myself to learn. If I’m wearing a fitted long skirt and I have to take short steps as I walk I can’t bear to be patient enough to wait for one foot to land on the ground as I walk. It’s that bad.
In my journey with God and relationship with Him, I hate that I’m at one level of my spiritual life and moving forward is such a long and slow process. God had to teach me this year, that there is a process to things, you don’t just emerge. A flower doesn’t just bloom; a caterpillar doesn’t just become a butterfly, in life there is a metamorphosis process that can never be ignored.
I learnt that there is a process to everything and you don’t just emerge, you have to be patient and you have to trust the process.
I was listening to Travis Greene’s ‘You Waited’ last night and I realised just how patient God is. He also wants to see us bloom and emerge as beautiful butterflies, but He knows He has to take us through a making process and He does so patiently, even when we mess up, even when we fail. He patiently takes us back to the drawing board and teaches us everything we need to learn. I went back to all the times in my life that my parents, my teachers, my friends and loved ones, just weren’t patient enough with me, I recollected their disappointments, frustrations, anger and annoyance and I tried to imagine if God ever had any of those feelings towards me. I recalled all the times I’d given up on certain things, all the times I’d gone into depression and hated myself just because I couldn’t be patient enough to allow myself learn, and I realised that God was still there, patiently waiting to teach me. Even when I sinned He patiently waited for me to come back to him.
All the times I wasn’t patient enough for me, he was always there waiting patiently.
I learnt that God didn’t run out of stock on patience when creating me, I know that I am created in His likeness; if he can be patient, so can I.
I know that all his works are good, and I am assured that as He created me, he put in a good measure of patience, I just find it hard to exercise the patience he gave me that’s all. I’m going to have to dig deep and ask the Holy Spirit to help me find the patience that He deposited in me from creation and help me to use it maximally.
Where would I be, if you left me?
In all honesty, I really don’t want to know. I don’t want to know where I would be if God hadn’t waited, just so he could teach me patience.
What Amazing Grace, that you’ve shown so patiently,
And you waited for me, just for me
Oh oh oh.
Thank you Jesus, for Amazing Grace.