thoughts at midnight, Uncategorized

THOUGHTS BY MIDNIGHT 

I can’t sleep, exam prep has driven me near the verge of insomnia, I fell asleep while I was praying around 10pm, I don’t think I lasted 20 minutes, Ireti goes for at least an hour. 

My big brother called by 11:20pm, I’m quite a light sleeper and he’s kind of a night crawler (don’t tell him I said so)– he was actually coming from work. 

Anyways, I woke up, opened the gate for him, gave him dinner and now he’s asleep on his bed while I’ve been tossing and turning for the past 2 hours.

It’s actually partly due to my anxiety issues, I told my mum I’m better now so I’ve stopped using my meds. Ireti used to have serious ADHD and she’s stopped using her meds for over a year now and she’s good, I asked her how she did it and she told me two words: 

Radical faith

If she can do it, so can I, I guess.

She found Jesus sometime last year after she had been molested at a party and now he’s basically the only thing she knows, and the Holy Spirit too, she’s always calling on the Holy Spirit. 

Me, I’ve been a Christian since I was maybe 5, so if she can do it, I see no reason why I can’t. 

Then there’s also the part of Christians being foolish and not using their medication, Tamuno says that God created medicine for a reason, people got sick in the Bible and were told to drink wine, that wine had medicinal value, God also advocates for medication and I should stop being foolish and use my drugs before my blood pressure skyrockets. But Ireti says that ‘what you believe will work for you’

I believe in God, he should work for me. 

That’s not even the reason I’m awake, I mean, the anxiety is keeping me awake and all, but I’m not having anxiety issues over my anxiety issues (make what you will of that). I’m having anxiety issues over the fact that it’s admission season and the past 2 years I applied to schools and always got bounced off my dream course (I think it’s this whole admission fiasco that legit triggered off my anxiety issues and made them worse) 

Anyways, my Mum thinks I should just stop going after my dream course which is Medical Lab Science and go for something else like Microbiology or Forensic Science just so I can enter school this year. Admission letters would start coming out by next week, so the idea of being bounced off Medical Lab Science, again has kept me awake for so long. 

Ireti advised me to pray about it and ask God what I should do. Let me be sincere here, the first time I did that, I went to my room, locked myself up, went on my knees, and I fell asleep on less than 10 minutes. 

Sigh.

It’s like God is not interested in telling me much about my future right now. Tamuno says that I should do what feels right to me, I should go with my gut instinct, but first of all, I’m not an animal, I don’t believe in gut instinct. Second of all, even if I did believe in gut instinct, I don’t even know what my gut wants again because I’m so confused. And I don’t want to tell Ireti that I can’t hear anything from God, I’ve been a Christian for longer than her, if she can hear from God, I see no reason why I can’t.

All these thoughts have been playing and replaying in my head in different ways for the past 2 hours and I have been unable to sleep. Let me try again sha. 

xoxo,
Dani

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Let’s just behave like I’ve not been on a hiatus for like ever. Let’s just behave like this is not my first blog post of the year. Let’s just act natural and let’s pray that I have the strength, courage and enablement to pay part #2 of this tomorrow.

Hi guys, it’s been way toooo long and I’m sincerely sorry. I’ve been dealing with life for quite a while now (it’s been pretty fun BTW) so I’ve been too caught up to even remember that I own a blog. Ife called me last week (God bless her for me) and she said that she’s waiting for my write-ups and sincerely, so have I. During my over extended blog break, I tried to learn how to develop myself not just as a writer, but as a Christian writer, so here I am. I’m here to stay– by God’s grace, and that grace had better be sufficient. 

Adios, 
Mure.  

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EXP #1

EXP #1.27

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Its Tuesday evening.

I cringed as another crashing sound came from upstairs.

The Slave Master has been at it for close to 20 minutes now.

He stormed into the house and went upstairs without so much of a glance in my direction—not that it bothered me or anything—his personal aides had followed him in, dropped his stuff off in his study and made their exit immediately. Then it started, different crashing and breaking sounds came from his room intermittently, each one causing me to jump in fear.

What could be wrong with the Slave Master?

The sound of household furniture that had just met its demise met my ears once again.

I sighed as I stood up from where I was perched on the couch.

Shaking my head as I thought to myself ‘I can’t take this anymore’ I marched up the stairs.

I paused at the landing that led to his room and I remembered how the Slave Master had categorically warned me not to set foot into his room. I hesitated as I realised just how foolish a step I was about to take. The Slave Master was usually very ill-tempered on his good days, and today was apparently a bad day for him. Was it really in my place to get him to stop this temper tantrum of his?

The sound of something breaking not too far away from me pulled me out of my reverie and made up my mind for me. I marched forward to the Slave Master’s room.

The door was open and right in front of it lay the carcass of a dead Samsung phone.

I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, the sound of my entry made the Slave Master pause from where he stood and he turned to look at me, lowering his arm which held a bedside lamp that he was probably about to fling out of the window.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in his dead and emotionless voice.

I blinked.

I had not been expecting that question.

What exactly was I doing here?

I thought I already decided that it wasn’t in my place to get him to stop his temper tantrum?

How had my brain forgotten to process this information to the rest of my body?

Oh crap!

“Are you deaf?” he bellowed, causing me to shrink back from where I stood in terror.

I cleared my throat “Um…”

I cleared my throat again, it seemed as though all my words were stuck there and my brain wasn’t even making an effort to want to function at all.

I don’t know for how long I stood there, standing like a fool, probably with my mouth hanging open because the Slave Master suddenly burst out laughing.

I just kept staring, and he kept laughing. As in, actual laughter and not the usual humourless and dead laughter I was used to from him. He doubled over and wiped his eye and looked up at me and burst into another fit of hysteria.

That was when I shut my mouth.
He was probably laughing at me and how foolish I looked. Scratch the probably part. He was laughing at me and how foolish I looked.

“What’s so funny?” I finally found my voice when he was done.

“Oh God! You should have seen the look on your face”

I sighed and looked around the room. Everything was a mess. The beside table lay in a broken heap, clothes were strewn all over the place, the full length dressing mirror lay in broken shards on the floor, and that was just the little I could see from where I stood at the door.

“Why don’t we go outside for a bit” I said looking up at the Slave Master who had been staring at me as I carried out my inspection on his room.

He obliged and followed me downstairs.

“I take it you’re in a bad mood” said I.

“How did you manage to figure that out?” he asked sarcastically.

“You know what you need?” I asked, ignoring his stupid comment.

“What?” he asked.

“Puff puff, puff puff always makes everything better. Where are your car keys? I know a place nearby that has the best puff puff” I replied.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked with his most serious straight face.

“Nope, I’m dead serious”

The Slave Master sighed then shrugged and ushered me outside.

Yay! We’re going to get puff puff!!!
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EXP #1

EXP #1.26

EXP #1 has been made easier to read. In all installments, along with the authors note, there are navigation pointers attached to guide you to either the previous post (which has << inserted before the attached links) or the next post (which has >> before the attached link). To get other installments of EXP #1 search for the category EXP #1 in the search box and this will bring out all EXP #1 posts in the order of newest to oldest.

<<EXP #1.25

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Brino” Bruno said to me through the phone later that night.

“Stop disturbing me I want to sleep” I told him, hoping my tone was nasty enough to put him off. He’d been calling me non-stop since I hung up on him earlier today when he told me that he’d not been able to get anything tangible off the Slave Master’s computer, causing me to have an asthma attack in vain.

“Brino I’m sorry” he said.

“Is that all? Can I go to bed now?” I snapped.

“No” he said.

“What else?” I asked impatiently.

“Did you see Walter today?”

“What do you mean ‘Did I see Walter?’ How would I be able to see Walter, I’m locked up in this place all day” I was already annoyed.

“I saw him at the Slave Master’s house” Bruno said.

“What?” all my previous emotions were replaced by curiosity.

“Yeah, he came in as I was leaving, at first I wasn’t sure it was him, but one of the men greeted him and called his name, confirming my suspicion”

“What was Walter doing here?” I asked nonplussed.

“I don’t know. That’s why I called to ask if you saw him”

“No, I didn’t” I said to him as my head started spinning in different directions.

Walter was part of the den of thieves I used to move with before I met Bruno. He was Idris’ right-hand man; just like he’d found me and took me in, Idris had done same for Walter years before he met me and they were totally inseparable. You know how people say no smoke without fire? Well, Walter was the smoke to Idris’ fire.

I sat on my bed and sighed into the phone.

What business did Walter have with the Slave Master?

Did Idris know of Walter’s business with the Slave Master?

My head was a tangle of jumbled thoughts as I thought back to the last time I’d seen Walter, it was at a party nearly 2 months ago, a party Bruno had advised me not to go to. When I first saw him, I turned in the other direction hoping he hadn’t seen me, later events of the night had proven otherwise as Walter and a bunch of my other old friends had come up to me, we started talking and one thing led to another, he eventually dared me to steal a car; the car that landed me in my current situation if I might add.

“Brino, Brino, are you still there?” Bruno asked.

“Yeah” I replied slowly as I surfaced from the sea of my thoughts “Yeah, I’m here. I was just thinking of the last time I saw Walter”

“What happened?”

“He dared me to steal a car” I replied simply.

“Oh” Bruno said “… wait… you don’t mean…”

I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head so I kept quiet.

“You don’t mean that car. The Slave Master’s car? Right?”

I sighed into the phone giving him his answer.

“Coincidence much?” I finally said with a humourless laugh.

“Could it be a coincidence? Really?” Bruno voiced out my very thoughts.

The person who had dared me to a steal car, ended up in the house of the very person who owned the car I stole, while I was on house arrest there. What were the odds of that?

“It has to be a co-incidence” I said into the phone with doubt injected heavy into my words “it just has to be. Walter dared me to break into any car I wanted, it was a full parking lot and he wouldn’t have known the car I’d pick.”

My head was spinning wildly; I could feel my brain overheating already. I analysed everything from that night up to the present moment. Nothing was making sense.
I heard Bruno sigh into the phone moments later, as I recalled events that had taken place today and I was tempted to tell Bruno of the deal I made with the Slave Master just this evening, the only thing that stopped me was the statement the Slave Master made after I shook his hand.

“One more thing” he’d said through his devilish smile.

I blinked ‘what?’

“No one, no one at all must find out about this. Understood?”

I nodded yes.

“Alright, good night” at that he shifted his chair and left me alone in the dinning room.

“Bruno I’m tired” I said into the phone at last.

“Yeah, me too” he sighed “good night”

>>EXP #1.27

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EXP #1

EXP #1.25

“Hey” I said to the Slave Master as he stepped into the house in the evening.

He appraised me with a raised eyebrow as I lay sprawled on a single seat couch, remote in hand, channel surfing.

“Hey yourself” he answered much to my surprise “Are you alright?”

“I should be asking you same. Are you alright? Did you hit your head or something?” I replied amidst my shock.

He gave a low huff, which was probably meant to be a laugh “I’m asking about your health” he deadpanned “I was informed of your asthma attack earlier today”

“What don’t you know?” I wondered aloud.

“What triggered it?” he asked ignoring my question.

I shrugged and changed the station.

“Should I bring your dinner?” I asked changing the topic.

The Slave Master looked at me funny for a little bit before nodding his head and going on inside.

“Why don’t you eat with me?” the Slave Master suggested as I served him dinner.

“I already ate” I replied, not bothering to look up as I kept on with pouring water into his cup.

“Sit by me then” he insisted.
I looked up at him now, he stared back with an unwavering gaze, then with a sigh I propped myself on the dinning chair next to his.

“Wow” he said “I was kind of looking forward to you putting up a fight”

“I know” I muttered staring at my hands as I placed them before me on the table “I try not to be too predictable every time”

“Hmmn, thank God you’re always predictable every time I need you to be”

“What?” I asked out of sheer confusion and received no reply. Typical.

I drummed my fingers along the table out of boredom “Just how lonely are you?”

“Very” he replied with a sincere burst of emotion which caused me to look up at him.

His face was a million emotions in one, I had not expected that.

“Are you alright?” I asked softly, this wasn’t the Slave Master I was used to.
No reply, as usual.

“Well, if you’re lonely, I suggest that you surround yourself with people and make new friends”

The Slave Master gave a dead laugh “I don’t like being around too many people and making new friends is not exactly my thing”

“Well, that’s the only cure to your loneliness” I stated matter-of-factly.

“I’m fine like this, besides I’m not lonely, I have you to keep me company” he looked up at me with that said.

“Yeah” I admitted “But what happens when I pay up and clock out?”

He shrugged “I have a suggestion”

I looked at him eagerly urging him to go on.

“Instead of paying me up, why don’t you… you know… do me a favour?”

My eyebrows shot up thinking of only one kind of favour that a man could ask of a woman, the Slave Master reading my thoughts gave a nervous laugh and said incredulously “I’m not talking of that kind of favour” causing my heart rate to go back to its normal pace.

“I’m not really popular with your aunt, so you probably know that I’m not welcome at Judisque-Allan, I’ll need you to help me deliver something to Nosa Osaretin’s secretary on Thursday”

“And once I deliver this thing, I’m a free being?” I asked, it all seemed too good to be true.

“Of course not” said the Slave Master as he burst my bubble “we’ll have to wait for maybe a week and if everything goes according to plan, you can walk”

“If not?” I asked.

The Slave Master shrugged like that was enough of an answer.

If not, I’d still have to pay up.

But what could he have me deliver that would clear a debt that ran into millions?

It didn’t make sense.

Barely anything did with the Slave Master though.

I looked up at him, to find his gaze fixed on me.

“Are you gonna do it?” he asked.
I closed my eyes and wondered some more what I could possibly be delivering that would clear my debt in a week.

I sighed, as I weighed my options before looking up at him.

“Fine” I said.

The Slave Master stretched out his hand to me for a handshake saying “Do I have your word?”

“Sure, whatever” I said as I shook his hand.

He then gave a smile, a full-blown smile that had me feeling like I’d just sold my soul to the devil.

Oh God, what have I just agreed to?

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👑 Àyànfé

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