Mail

Dear Ugo,

I am beyond sorry for your loss. Words can’t express how deeply sorry I am. Receiving your letter was both shocking and exciting, but the message within really broke my heart. 
I know he was a really good guy from the way you described him and I know you loved him very much. I wish I was there to comfort you, but I know Holy Spirit is the greatest comforter and He’ll do that for me.

I can remember when you broke up with me, I felt like I’d never get over you, but I did. Time heals all wounds Ugo, give yourself time to heal. 

I know that God is in control even though it doesn’t seem so and this is the best time to go to him because he loves you and he cares about you. Go to God the same way you wrote your last letter to me, go to Him like a long lost friend and lover and tell him all about your grief. We can never know why Bolupe died. God’s ways are unsearchable, you know how he says in Isaiah 55 that his ways aren’t our ways and his thoughts aren’t like ours. All I know is that He can mend your broken heart and fix you back up, He’ll even make you better than you were before if you make Him the love of your life. Hold unto God’s promises for you in the Bible and I am certain that everything is going to work out for your good.

At least you have a consolation that Bolupe is with Jesus in Heaven, he’s probably rejoicing and singing with the angels serving God for ever and ever. I see no reason why you should let his death hold you back from serving God when that is what he now does 24/7. What do you think Bolupe will want you to do at this point? 

Love,
Aina

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Isaiah 55:8-9 KJV

For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord . [9] For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.

Not everything in life will go in the way that we originally planned. There’s someone up there who controls everything that goes on down here and He has said that His ways are higher than ours. Stop trying to make things work when they don’t want to work, God sees everything and he’s in absolute control. Sit back, relax and let him take the wheel. His plans for you are always better than those you have for yourself. 

👑 Àyànfé. 

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Mail

Aina, 

Exactly a hundred days ago Bolupe died. 

I can’t even think properly. 

Aina, I’ve been stuck in limbo ever since. Bolupe was my… everything. My teacher, friend, confidante, my brother, my boyfriend, inspiration, mentor, my muse… 

Aina, I don’t know how it happened, he was alive and well in the morning, he’d just shared with me the theme he’d gotten from his quiet time that morning. He’d read John 6 and you know how I’ve been struggling in my spiritual life, he told me of how Jesus had called himself the bread of life and how we are to eat him to have life, and I asked him “How can we eat Jesus?” and he answered simply, by reading his word day and night, and not just reading, but meditating also, by fellowshiping with him. His memory verse that morning was verse 63 of that chapter 

It is the Spirit that gives life, the flesh profits nothing, the words I speak to you are Spirit and they are life. 

My tears just stained the paper, I’m sorry Aina, you’ll receive a tear-stained letter. He forced me to memorise the verse before leaving for the office. 

I remember everything else vividly, I checked the time before picking up the phone call from an unknown number, it was 5 minutes past 2 in the afternoon. The person on the other end said that they’d seen my card in someone’s wallet and the person was fighting for dear life in the hospital. 

Remembering everything is so painful. It’s like it all happened yesterday, the pain is so raw, I don’t feel like I’ll ever get over it. 

Where was God? Aina where was God when death came and snatched my beloved? If anyone deserved death, it wasn’t Bolupe, he was too good. Is God meant to be this unfair? I’m tired at this point, I’m tired of even trying to have a relationship with Him, I’m tired of trying to pray, I’m tired of trying to be happy. I don’t think I can ever be happy in life again in fact. I think that was why my mum advised me to write to you. 

Although this letter is written with tonnes of pain and sorrow from a heavy heart, I hope it meets you well,
Ugochi. 

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Guess which lazy blogger decided to post tonight? 

Hint: you’re reading her blog. 

👑 Àyànfé 

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Words On Marble

XL

Once upon a time, in a place I cannot name and a time I can not reveal. There was a man, his name was XL. 

XL’s mother had died giving birth to him and his father had been his only guardian, he grew up a very lonely child, by the time he was 6 years old his father married again. Her name was Eleanor; Eleanor was unable to have any children due to a genetic diesease, XL was an answer to her prayers, he was the son she would never have been able to have. 

Slowly but surely, XL and his new mother formed a strong bond. His father was barely around always going around the world on business trips, it was just XL and his mom. Eleanor trained and taught her son, teaching him manners, taking him to church, counseling him and all.

Unfortunately, disaster struck soon and at age 15 XL lost his second mother. He had been very reserved, very stubborn and difficult in his childhood, but his mother’s death made him shut himself from the world. He only ever communicated with his childhood friends freely, others could barely get a word from his mouth.

XL’s father decided to send him to military school a year later when he started acting up, his step-grandmother who had accepted to be his guardian could barely keep him in check. From military school XL went on to enlist in the army in a bid to run away from his lonely and empty life back at home, he was also searching for something, he didn’t know what, he initially thought he was searching for death and the adrenaline that comes with action on the battle front, he soon came to realise that was not what he had been searching for. 3 years I to his military career he was advised to withdraw, although XL was a good soldier and an excellent marksman, he was driven to near insanity, insomnia and suffered heavily from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

He was in a military rehabilitation centre for 10 months before he was let out into the civilian world again and in those 10 months his step-grandmother, Mrs Helen had come to see him every week. At first, he was unaccomodating of the old woman, but he soon came to love her. Mrs Helen listened to him talk about his military career and immediately knew what exactly XL had been searching for when he entered military service. 

“XL, it’s not love or fulfillment or adrenaline or any of that, that you were searching for when you joined the military” Mrs Helen told her step-grandson, a couple of years later as she lay on her death bed “You were searching for what every human soul searches for in this life and it can only be found in one place. There is only one person who can give you the rest that your soul most desperately desires and his name is Jesus.”

XL shook his head in tears as he held the hand of this old lady that he had come to love over the past years “God? Nah, he gave up on me a long time ago”

“No XL, he never did, he’s been waiting for you for so long, he’s crazy in love with you, he’s desperate for you, he has your name engraved in the palm of his hand, his angels are ready to throw a huge coming home party just for you in heaven if you surrender yourself to him” Mrs Helen said. 

XL shook his head yet again “Even if all that is true, it’s too late for me”

Mrs Helen squeezed XL’s head “It’s never too late for anyone who’s willing to give God a chance, the only time it’ll ever be too late for you is when you die without him, it’s not too late XL”

“You don’t get me, Grandma” XL said “Do you know the things I’ve done? The people I’ve killed? All the things I’ve entangled myself in over the years? I can’t even begin to tell you the half of things I did even before I joined the military. It’s too late for me Grandma, I’m too far gone, don’t you get it? I’m in too deep. There’s no hope for a person like me”

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord” Mrs Helen began “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

“What?” XL asked? 

“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” Mrs Helen continued.

“You think you are too far gone, but God has promised that no matter how filthy you are inside, no matter what awful things you may have done, if you are willing and obedient, he will cleanse you by himself. If your sins are as scarlet, they shall be made like snow, even though they are red as crimson, they shall be made like wool. XL, God’s hands are not shortened to save, don’t undermine his power; his ears are not heavy not to hear you when you call out to him. Sweetheart, give God a chance. Just give him a chance and obey him and he’ll change your life completely.

“Promise me”

“Huh?” XL looked up at his Grandma 

“Promise me you’ll give Jesus a chance. XL I need you to promise me that for the next 1 year at least, you will give Jesus a chance, talk to him, he listens to you; read the Bible start from the 4 Gospels hear what Jesus has to say and you’ll see that you aren’t too far gone. You’re right where he needs you to be”

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Isaiah 59:1 KJV

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear.

Talk to God, he’s listening. 

Lovely thoughts for lovely people. 

👑 Àyànfé (the King’s Beloved)

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Uncategorized

MY UPSIDE-DOWN JONAH STORY

“Today was a mess!” Deremi told her sister as she dumped her bag on her bed, kicked her shoes off and shimmied out of her jumpsuit into her night gown. 

“Tell me about it” Deola, said looking up from what she was typing on her laptop. 

“I went to register for my external exams today o! And what would take about 30-45 minutes on a good day, an hour max, took me 3 hours, the server kept on failing when we wanted to upload my online profile to the exam’s site. 

“After we finally finished battling with that one, I wanted to go and see my friends in the neighbourhood: Ebun, Vicky and Dolapo, and I didn’t really know my way around so I called Omoarukhe to ask if he would be so kind as to taking me there, he told me that he had just been discharged from the hospital but that he’d be with me in about 20 minutes. Time was going and my friends had been calling me all day that I should hurry so as not to miss them, I also didn’t want get caught in the evening rush hour. 20 minutes later Omo was no where in sight, I called his number but he didn’t pick the call, I was getting antsy so I decided to find my way to my friends’ place by myself.

“I met a nice lady who told me that she was going in the same direction and she was even willing to help me find my way. That’s how we started going and as I was about to call Omo to tell him I was already on my way so that he would meet me there, my phone died. I was confused and I didn’t know what to do, so I felt that if I got to my friends’ house on time, I’d charge my phone and call him and we’d still meet up and all. 

“So that’s how me and the lady got to the bus stop and there was no bus going in our direction. I don’t know how long we stood there for? Maybe 5 minutes, maybe 10 or even 15, I was worried about Omo since he had just been discharged and nothing was going according to plan, time was running. I didn’t even know what to do again, I was so confused because Omo might have gotten to our agreed meeting point and might have been looking for me, and the one that I did not see bus again was another wahala

“At some point I had to explain my condition to the lady and I told her thank you and ran back to where I was coming from to look for Omo. He was no where in sight, I had to go back to my exam registration centre and plug my phone there, I tried switching it on to no avail and I don’t know anybody’s number by heart.

“By the time my phone managed to come on about 20 minutes later, Omo was fuming, he had searched for me at our agreed meeting point and had headed over to my friends’ neighbourhood hoping to catch me along the way and he nearly had an health scare in the process. I was just begging him, over an hour had gone so he advised me to just get on my way home.

“The sad part is I was still caught up in the evening rush hour like never before. The traffic on the road these days is just awful. Anyhow, I was just begging all my friends as I was on my way home then my battery died again in the bus.” Deremi sighed “Today was just messed”

Adeola looked at her sister who was currently balanced at the edge of her bed.

“Did you pray before embarking on this your adventure?” she asked her younger sister. 

“Yes” Deremi nodded. 

“And what did God say?” Adeola asked. 

Deremi shrugged “I don’t know”

“You don’t know or you didn’t bother to find out? You had your day all planned out, so he could as well keep his opinion to Himself huh?” 

Deremi scratched her ear as her sister kept on 

“This your tale just reminds me of Jonah, the only difference is that God sent him somewhere and he didn’t go while God didn’t send you somewhere and you wanted to go. Analyse it, Jonah was to go to Nineveh and he boarded a boat headed elsewhere which faced a great tempest till he was cast overboard and was swallowed in the belly of a whale for 3 days and washed on the shore close to Nineveh. You on the other hand wanted to go somewhere and your exam registration dragged on for forever, instead of you to quit; you called someone to take you who wasn’t on time and your phone died, you got to the bus stop and you didn’t even get a bus going in your direction, you’d already left your friend hanging by then and what else?”

Remi sighed as her sister’s explanation made her reflect on her day once again. She really had to work on hearing the voice of God and obeying his every instruction, even when she felt it didn’t favour her. 

Psalm 119:133 KJV

Order my steps in thy word: and let not any iniquity have dominion over me.

Psalm 139:7-10 KJV

Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence? [8] If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there . [9] If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea; [10] Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

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How was your day?

I had a very be-yoo-ti-ful day today, great emphasis on beautiful and I learnt a lot of stuff. 

>>Babes this one is for you<<

Don’t forget to comment, like, share and subscribe with your email to receive post notifications. 

👑 Àyànfé (the King’s Beloved)


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Words On Marble

LIBERTY 

​Romans 8:5 KJV

For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit.

Someone asked what is my obsession with this scripture because I always go back to it over and again. 

Well, when I started learning to hear from God, this was the no #1 scripture he gave to me that I fully understood.

So it has already been established, you can’t follow God and follow the crowd. Number 2 is; you can’t do the things of God and continue to do the things of the world. Nope, it doesn’t work out that way. You can’t lead worship session in church and go back to sleep with your boyfriend, you can’t finish your Quiet Time only to go see an R-rated movie. You cannot do the things of God and still do the things of the flesh. It doesn’t work out. And I also learnt this the hard way. 

So at some point in my life I realised the works of literature I exposed myself to were not the best and the Holy Spirit made me to understand that I had to cut them off, but I was so sentimental and hung up over the beautiful world in my head, I couldn’t fully let go. I was stuck in limbo because I kept on going through all the storylines, the scenes, the characters and whatnot. 

It was a struggle, a very difficult one in fact and I had to talk to someone about it and she told me. 

“This life is made up of God and vanity. If it is not of God, then its vanity. And all these things that you are desperately hung up over that God wants you to let go off, they are not profitable. They don’t give life. Only Jesus gives life, all these things are death. You see it as a punishment that the Holy Spirit doesn’t want you to read all your fun novels and watch all your cool movies, but see, Christ gives liberty. God is not punishing you, but he’s liberating you from all these things that have power to enslave you.” 

After my friend explained this to me I went back to Romans 8:5 and I realised, I’m not of the flesh, I should not be hung up over things of the flesh because Christ has made me free and he has given me the power to do away with things that do not benefit. 

Galatians 5:1 KJV

Stand fast therefore in the liberty wherewith Christ hath made us free, and be not entangled again with the yoke of bondage.

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I just had to put the second scripture because the Bible is complete. 

👑 Àyànfé 

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my renaissance, poetry

PARADISE 

Oh I want to go with you to paradise, 

To dwell in your presence day and night, 

I want to walk by your side on the streets of gold, 

And drink from the fountain of living water,

To dine with you and eat of the bread of life, 

And go stargazing, watch you name them one by one.

Till they are finally replaced by the sun. 

👑 the King’s Beloved (Àyànfé)

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my renaissance, poetry

THIS IS HERO WORSHIP 

If you placed the stars in the sky and still know them all by name, 

How come you still remember mine?

If you make out time to hear everyone on Earth as they call out to you, 

How come you even recognise my voice? 

If all the hairs on my head were tongues, 

I still wouldn’t praise you enough, 

You are beyond measure, 

No one can ever be compared to you, oh my King. 

Your greatness is undisputable,

Your power undeniable,

You alone are unquestionable,

And your ways are unsearchable. 

Yes, this is hero worship. 

👑 the King’s Beloved (Àyànfé)

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