EXP #1

EXP #1.27

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Its Tuesday evening.

I cringed as another crashing sound came from upstairs.

The Slave Master has been at it for close to 20 minutes now.

He stormed into the house and went upstairs without so much of a glance in my direction—not that it bothered me or anything—his personal aides had followed him in, dropped his stuff off in his study and made their exit immediately. Then it started, different crashing and breaking sounds came from his room intermittently, each one causing me to jump in fear.

What could be wrong with the Slave Master?

The sound of household furniture that had just met its demise met my ears once again.

I sighed as I stood up from where I was perched on the couch.

Shaking my head as I thought to myself ‘I can’t take this anymore’ I marched up the stairs.

I paused at the landing that led to his room and I remembered how the Slave Master had categorically warned me not to set foot into his room. I hesitated as I realised just how foolish a step I was about to take. The Slave Master was usually very ill-tempered on his good days, and today was apparently a bad day for him. Was it really in my place to get him to stop this temper tantrum of his?

The sound of something breaking not too far away from me pulled me out of my reverie and made up my mind for me. I marched forward to the Slave Master’s room.

The door was open and right in front of it lay the carcass of a dead Samsung phone.

I took a deep breath before pushing the door open, the sound of my entry made the Slave Master pause from where he stood and he turned to look at me, lowering his arm which held a bedside lamp that he was probably about to fling out of the window.

“What are you doing here?” he asked in his dead and emotionless voice.

I blinked.

I had not been expecting that question.

What exactly was I doing here?

I thought I already decided that it wasn’t in my place to get him to stop his temper tantrum?

How had my brain forgotten to process this information to the rest of my body?

Oh crap!

“Are you deaf?” he bellowed, causing me to shrink back from where I stood in terror.

I cleared my throat “Um…”

I cleared my throat again, it seemed as though all my words were stuck there and my brain wasn’t even making an effort to want to function at all.

I don’t know for how long I stood there, standing like a fool, probably with my mouth hanging open because the Slave Master suddenly burst out laughing.

I just kept staring, and he kept laughing. As in, actual laughter and not the usual humourless and dead laughter I was used to from him. He doubled over and wiped his eye and looked up at me and burst into another fit of hysteria.

That was when I shut my mouth.
He was probably laughing at me and how foolish I looked. Scratch the probably part. He was laughing at me and how foolish I looked.

“What’s so funny?” I finally found my voice when he was done.

“Oh God! You should have seen the look on your face”

I sighed and looked around the room. Everything was a mess. The beside table lay in a broken heap, clothes were strewn all over the place, the full length dressing mirror lay in broken shards on the floor, and that was just the little I could see from where I stood at the door.

“Why don’t we go outside for a bit” I said looking up at the Slave Master who had been staring at me as I carried out my inspection on his room.

He obliged and followed me downstairs.

“I take it you’re in a bad mood” said I.

“How did you manage to figure that out?” he asked sarcastically.

“You know what you need?” I asked, ignoring his stupid comment.

“What?” he asked.

“Puff puff, puff puff always makes everything better. Where are your car keys? I know a place nearby that has the best puff puff” I replied.

“Are you kidding me?” he asked with his most serious straight face.

“Nope, I’m dead serious”

The Slave Master sighed then shrugged and ushered me outside.

Yay! We’re going to get puff puff!!!

EXP #1

EXP #1.26

EXP #1 has been made easier to read. In all installments, along with the authors note, there are navigation pointers attached to guide you to either the previous post (which has << inserted before the attached links) or the next post (which has >> before the attached link). To get other installments of EXP #1 search for the category EXP #1 in the search box and this will bring out all EXP #1 posts in the order of newest to oldest.

<<EXP #1.25

Or click here to start over from EXP #1


Brino” Bruno said to me through the phone later that night.

“Stop disturbing me I want to sleep” I told him, hoping my tone was nasty enough to put him off. He’d been calling me non-stop since I hung up on him earlier today when he told me that he’d not been able to get anything tangible off the Slave Master’s computer, causing me to have an asthma attack in vain.

“Brino I’m sorry” he said.

“Is that all? Can I go to bed now?” I snapped.

“No” he said.

“What else?” I asked impatiently.

“Did you see Walter today?”

“What do you mean ‘Did I see Walter?’ How would I be able to see Walter, I’m locked up in this place all day” I was already annoyed.

“I saw him at the Slave Master’s house” Bruno said.

“What?” all my previous emotions were replaced by curiosity.

“Yeah, he came in as I was leaving, at first I wasn’t sure it was him, but one of the men greeted him and called his name, confirming my suspicion”

“What was Walter doing here?” I asked nonplussed.

“I don’t know. That’s why I called to ask if you saw him”

“No, I didn’t” I said to him as my head started spinning in different directions.

Walter was part of the den of thieves I used to move with before I met Bruno. He was Idris’ right-hand man; just like he’d found me and took me in, Idris had done same for Walter years before he met me and they were totally inseparable. You know how people say no smoke without fire? Well, Walter was the smoke to Idris’ fire.

I sat on my bed and sighed into the phone.

What business did Walter have with the Slave Master?

Did Idris know of Walter’s business with the Slave Master?

My head was a tangle of jumbled thoughts as I thought back to the last time I’d seen Walter, it was at a party nearly 2 months ago, a party Bruno had advised me not to go to. When I first saw him, I turned in the other direction hoping he hadn’t seen me, later events of the night had proven otherwise as Walter and a bunch of my other old friends had come up to me, we started talking and one thing led to another, he eventually dared me to steal a car; the car that landed me in my current situation if I might add.

“Brino, Brino, are you still there?” Bruno asked.

“Yeah” I replied slowly as I surfaced from the sea of my thoughts “Yeah, I’m here. I was just thinking of the last time I saw Walter”

“What happened?”

“He dared me to steal a car” I replied simply.

“Oh” Bruno said “… wait… you don’t mean…”

I could practically see the wheels spinning in his head so I kept quiet.

“You don’t mean that car. The Slave Master’s car? Right?”

I sighed into the phone giving him his answer.

“Coincidence much?” I finally said with a humourless laugh.

“Could it be a coincidence? Really?” Bruno voiced out my very thoughts.

The person who had dared me to a steal car, ended up in the house of the very person who owned the car I stole, while I was on house arrest there. What were the odds of that?

“It has to be a co-incidence” I said into the phone with doubt injected heavy into my words “it just has to be. Walter dared me to break into any car I wanted, it was a full parking lot and he wouldn’t have known the car I’d pick.”

My head was spinning wildly; I could feel my brain overheating already. I analysed everything from that night up to the present moment. Nothing was making sense.
I heard Bruno sigh into the phone moments later, as I recalled events that had taken place today and I was tempted to tell Bruno of the deal I made with the Slave Master just this evening, the only thing that stopped me was the statement the Slave Master made after I shook his hand.

“One more thing” he’d said through his devilish smile.

I blinked ‘what?’

“No one, no one at all must find out about this. Understood?”

I nodded yes.

“Alright, good night” at that he shifted his chair and left me alone in the dinning room.

“Bruno I’m tired” I said into the phone at last.

“Yeah, me too” he sighed “good night”

>>EXP #1.27

EXP #1

EXP #1.24

Ding Dong!

I looked up from the table I was currently dusting at the clock. It was Monday morning and the Slave Master had left for work over an hour ago. Maybe he had left something behind and sent Henshaw back for it, I thought to myself as I made towards the door.

Ding dong!

The bell rang again.

“I’m coming, I’m coming” I yelled as I made past the dinning room into the mini parlour and threw open the door.

“What are you doing here?” I asked without thinking.

Bruno cleared his throat and used his eyes to signal me. I blinked and looked up to see one of the Slave Master’s many body guards behind him.

“What are you guys doing here? I thought no one comes in till the Sla–Damiloju is back?” I did a double-take, and directed my question to the bodyguard.

“Good morning, I’m from ON&T, I’m here to install the internet” Bruno said, acting as if we were strangers as he stretched out his hand.

“The Boss said that someone was coming from the Tech Company to install the Wi-Fi today” the Bodyguard affirmed.

I eyed his still outstretched hand warily before shaking it “Well, he never told me anything” I eyed Bruno again “I’ll call him and tell him, just go do what you have to do”

At that point, I opened the door to let them in “Where will the Wi-Fi be installed?”

“The Boss said to set it up in his office” the Bodyguard replied and ushered Bruno upstairs.

I was pretty confused. How did Bruno get here? Why was Bruno here? I was 100% sure it wasn’t just for the Wi-Fi installation, maybe that was why he called for the Slave Master’s name over the weekend.

I sighed having no answer to these questions as I was about to carry on with what I’d previously been doing, I heard my phone beep and went over to pick it up.

Text Message from Bruno:

Yo, help me get this guy away from here for like 5 mins please. It’s important.

I reread the message in bewilderment. What exactly was Bruno up to? The Slave Master was not one to be trifled with, but Bruno wanted time alone in a room that I’d been forbidden from entering from Day One, what exactly was the Slave Master so secretive about that was in that room?

I sighed and began thinking of a good excuse to get the Bodyguard out. If he was anything like Henshaw he wouldn’t be easily tricked.

After thinking for a while I came up with a plan. A took a deep breath and sighed right after what I let out a ear piercing scream. Then I sprawled myself on the ground and began gasping. The Bodyguard arrived in a matter of seconds and I continued my act, pretending to gasp for breath as I lay on the floor.

“What’s wrong? What’s happening?” he asked alarmed at my present condition.

“In-ha-ler” I forced the words out as I continued my fake asthma attack.

“In-ha-ler. My-room” I tried again and pointed up the stairs to where my room was located.

“Inhaler?” he asked his palms shaking as he held me in my pitiful state. I nodded.

“Are you asthmatic?” He asked.

I nodded frantically, pointing at the stairs again. I needed him to leave soon or else I’d actually trigger a real attack.

“Room-draw-er” I barely coughed out. This thing was getting real “Hurry” I squeaked as the Bodyguard raced up to my room, to search for my inhaler. I tried to stabilise my breathing at that point, but I was too far gone. I’d just triggered a real attack for myself.

When I was first diagnosed, the doctors had told me panic and anxiety were normal symptoms of asthma and if I was ever to experience an attack without my inhaler I should try my best to calm myself down. I tried one of the calming exercises I’d been taught, I was too nervous to execute it properly, my breathing was becoming more difficult by the second and my chest hurt terribly all of a sudden. Why did I have to fake an attack, I thought to myself as I held myself up on my knees, I was to weak to stand so I crawled up to the foot of the stairs wheezing louder as I dragged myself. I was going to kill myself, I just lay still and tried once again to calm myself.
Where was that Bodyguard?!

My vision began to blur and black dots spotted my line of sight, a sure sign my oxygen was very low and I was going to pass out in a–

I felt a firm hand press something between my lips.

One puff.

Two puffs.

By the third puff, my airways had cleared and I pushed the inhaler away as I the embraced fresh oxygen flowing into my lungs, I blinked my eyes open to see Bruno.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

If he was here, that meant he had not been doing whatever he was meant to be doing while I had my attack. I had just tried to kill myself in vain!

“I found your inhaler” he said with a small smile.

I sat up and saw the Bodyguard on the step behind where I lay.

“Just go” I said to Bruno as I forced myself on my feet and wobbled back to the living room.

What a waste.


Because Thursdays are for EXP #1

<<EXP #1.23

>>EXP #1.25

To start over click here for EXP #1.

👑 Àyànfé

EXP #1

EXP #1.22

I took my seat at a table that already had a few people sitted and looked around nervously for the Slave Master. I took a sip of the drink that was set before me as I tried to blend in.

“Hey I’m Jacqueline, I’ve not seen your face before. You’re new at Judisque-Allan?”

“Hmmn” I muttered with a slight nod through the glass cup between my lips “Kinda” I said as I set my cup down.

“Okay, what’s your name?” Jacqueline asked.

“Brino” I replied curtly.

“So where do you work? HR? Because I barely know anyone in HR and I pretty much know everyone at Judisque-Allen”

“How is that? Are you a receptionist?” I asked. How could she know almost everybody in a whole company.

“No I’m a secretary and I’ve worked for various people in various divisions” she replied.

“Various divisions apart from HR, right?”

“Yes” she replied.

“So where are you working now?” I asked, truly curious.

“The Logistics Division” she replied.

I nodded.

“So where are you working?” Jacqueline asked.

“Oh, me?” I replied self consciously “I’m a shareholder, not a staff”

Jacqueline nodded.

“Oh Brino!”

I recognised Tinuade’s voice before turning to her. She approached me from behind with Vwaire in tow.

“How long have you been here?” Vwaire asked, bending to whisper in my ear.

“A couple of minutes now, maybe 10”

“Come on and sit with us at our table” Vwaire offered.

I bit my lip, she hates rejection, I know that much “I’m sorry, I can’t, the Slave Master had to step out before we could be seated and I wouldn’t want him looking for me”

“Oh, you mean he’s here?” Vwaire said standing straight and looking around.

I nodded “He should be back any second now”

“Then just come sit with us and keep an eye out for him” Tinuade suggested

“The last time we were separated at an event, you kidnapped me. I would love to avoid any of such this time around”

“Okay” Tinuade deflated and Vwaire led her back to their seat.

I shifted in my seat as they left, keeping my eyes on the entrance. I understood the fact that he was antisocial, but the Slave Master had been gone too long, I didn’t even have his phone number to check on him.

I sighed and turned back to my table as small chops came along and caught Jacqueline staring me, I managed a small smile in her direction as I stabbed a spring roll with my toothpick and led it to my mouth.

“You and Miss Odafe” Jacqueline began.

“Who?” I asked.

“Miss Vwaire Odafe”

“Oh, Vwaire” I said, acknowledging her confused expression “We are twins” I clarified.

“Wow! You both look too much alike, I was just staring at both of you like an idiot when she came”

I smiled unsure of what to say.

“So how come, you’re not active in the company?” Jacqueline asked.

“What makes you think that?” I asked trying to steer her off track.

“I told you, I’ve worked almost everywhere in Judisque-Allan, I know all the share holders by name and face and I never knew of any Brino Odafe”

I smiled like nothing was amiss “I’m actually Brino Enohor and I was away from my family for a while that’s why they never bothered to include me as a shareholder in the company”

Jacqueline looked like she was caught up between minding her own business and asking more questions, the Slave Master made up her mind for her as he took a seat next to me looking very ill.

“Are you alright?” I asked out of concern, I had never seen him like this before, he looked pale and awful and he was sweating unusually, despite the AC and the cool night time air outside.

“Fine” he deadpanned.

“Here have some puff puff, it makes everything better” I said, shifting my small chops plate to him, he looked at me like I was crazy before shocking me by putting one in his mouth.

“How did you find me?” I asked.

“The usher” he gave another clipped reply piquing my concern.

The party dragged on with the Slave Master going in and out, I was so concerned about him, I barely took note of what was going on around me. I tried to follow him once as he stood up to leave but he gave me one of his signature cold stares, I stayed glued to my seat.

By the time the party was rounding up he was no where to be seen.

Vwaire came by my seat with Tinuade as it was time to mingle.

“Where is he?” Tinuade beat her to it.

“He had to step out” I replied looking over at the entrance, he’d been gone for a long while now.

“Come on” Vwaire said “There are some people I’d like you to meet. Don’t talk to much and be polite”

We started of with the celebrant himself – Nosa Osaretin, walking up to the high table where he was standing with his wife as he greeted his guests. Nosa Osaretin was a slim, light skinned man, with black and grey hair in a low cut atop his head, a matching beard coloured his upper lips and chin, he was not tall, 5’9 would be a bit much for his height, his black eyes crinkled most obviously as he smiled at one of his guests, his wife stood graciously beside him in a sapphire blue dinner gown which flowed to the ground, her complexion reminded me of dark chocolate, she was a black Amazonian goddess next to her husband, she couldn’t be up to 6 ft, but she probably stood that tall in her heels.

Vwaire and I waited for our turn till he looked in our direction “Uncle Nosa” Vwaire said “Happy birthday. Congrats” she hugged him at this point, Nosa Osaretin, or Uncle Nosa held Vwaire and spoke in a booming voice that did not match his size “Vwaire, my baby. You’re a big girl now, what of your aunt?”

“She’s a bit ill, I left her at home” Vwaire replied.

“Madam, doesn’t even fancy events like this” Uncle Nosa began looking up from where he held Vwaire, he stopped short when he saw me and blinked.

“Good evening sir” I said with a small smile and a mini courtesy, bending my knees a bit.

Uncle Nosa held Vwaire away from himself and began to look between the both of us, I looked up at his wife who looked just as confused, but still elegant and gracious in her confusion.

“Uncle this is my sister” Vwaire said.

“Sister?” Uncle Nosa asked “From where?”

“She lived with our father till he died, while I lived with Aunty Juliana”

Uncle Nosa nodded, he probably had an understanding of Aunty Juliana’s private life, to whatsoever extent that may be.

“Ohhh, she is the one that Madam split the shares for”

Vwaire nodded.

“Young lady nice to meet you. How do you do?” Uncle Nosa said as he extended a hand to me.

I shook it and replied in a small voice.

“Very nice to meet you” he said once again shaking my hand vigorously.

“Yes sir” I said with a nod.

“Uncle, we have to get going now, you know the way my Aunt gets if I stay out too late” Vwaire said, trying to bail me out.

“Of course” Uncle Nosa said with a laugh diverting his gaze from me “Do have a nice evening, the both of you”

“Likewise” Vwaire replied, leading me by the arm as we made of to see other people.

I was introduced to the Managing Director and other major stakeholders in Judisque-Allan. Vwaire took me about as we socialised and mingled.

“Where is Tinuade?” I asked suddenly realising her absence, Vwaire shrugged beside me and turned, probably looking around for her friend, I looked up in that moment and instantly found the Slave Master in my line of sight, he saw me less than a heartbeat later, shifted his gaze to Vwaire whose arm was linked in mine, and did the most unexpected thing.

As he caught my eye he looked as though he was coming to meet me, but looking over at Vwaire whose face was turned away from him, his expression morphed into something I couldn’t quite decipher in the 2 seconds I saw it and the Slave Master turned on his heels, a complete 180 degrees, instantly changing course away from Vwaire and I. I watched him totally nonplussed and unconsciously called out to him, stretching out my hand in the process and catching Vwaire’s attention. In a matter of seconds, his long strides had him caught up in the throng of people around, so I could barely make him out.

“What?” Vwaire asked looking at me.

I couldn’t even reply, I detached my arm from hers and went after him.

What just happened?

Why did he turn away from myself and my sister?

Where was he going to?


<<EXP #1.21

>>EXP #1.23

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👑 Àyànfé

EXP #1

EXP #1.18

“You walked out on me” the Slave Master said, standing in the doorway of my room. 
I sat up on the bed, and shrugged as I held his eyes “there’s a first time for everything, isn’t there?”

He shook his head “I want to understand something”


“What happened on Friday night?”

“Now you ask, wait sef, don’t you already know everything?”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” the Slave Master asked. 

“You showed up at my aunty’s place the next day, you also know about my shares, less than 24 hours after I acquired them, how do you not know the full details of what happened on Friday?” I asked. 

The Slave Master exhaled. 

I gave a sigh of my own before speaking “After you left me to see your mother, I bumped into my twin sister’s friend, Tinuade. Tinuade mistook me for my sister, Vwaire and took me to her house. Vwaire got home not long after we did and everything was all cleared up”

“That’s all?” he asked sceptically. 

“That’s all” I replied. 

“And you never knew anything about Vwa- your twin till Friday?”


“And she never knew about you either?”

“Nope, we were both in shock”

“What about your aunt?”

“Ah-ahn! Why are you asking all these questions?” I looked up at the Slave Master who had a hand to his face in deep thought. He looked at me with eyes that didn’t really look at me, as if he was thinking of a whole lot of other things that were beyond the confines of my room and even this conversation. 

“I’m just curious. They never knew about you till Friday and you’re already a member of the family with Judisque-Allan shares to prove it”

“Get over this shares already!” I exclaimed. 

“You never answered my question. Did your aunt know?” the Slave Master ignored my earlier outburst.

“She said she always had a feeling that I might have existed somewhere”

The Slave Master’s confused expression nearly made me laugh. I’d never ever seen him confused. Always cool, calm and composed; occasionally full of himself and arrogant; angry was another expression I was used to, even condescending, but never confused, so before he could speak I beat him to it “My parents are both dead now, my mother died giving birth to us, my dad was her lover and they ran away, according to my aunt my mum was expecting twins, but I was born first and my dad took me away, by the time my aunt got to the hospital, my dad had probably made off with me, she watched as my sister was born before my mum gave up the ghost”

The Slave Master nodded. 

I climbed up the stairs the next morning and knocked on the Slave Master’s door “Hello, are you in there?”

“I’m in here!” he called out from another room, I followed the sound till I found the room it came from. After I’d knocked twice, I turned the knob on the door, it opened up to an office. Black desk, one chair behind it which currently held the Slave Master and two chairs in front of it. Various office paraphernalia were arranged on the table, a bookshelf was at the side of a wall, I stepped in and looked down at the soft carpet beneath my feet as I felt it. I’d never been in this room. I looked around once again, the room wasn’t so big, it was like a home office. 

“Can I help you?” the Slave Master asked with an impassive expression on his face as he looked up from the laptop he was working on.   

“You didn’t come down for breakfast, the pancakes are already cold”

“Just bring them up, I’m busy” he replied. 

“You’re not going to work today?” 

“You can see I’m busy” he deadpanned. 

“Alright then, I’ll bring your breakfast up”


Update Yay! I am seriously rethinking posting EXP #1 on Thursdays.

Next post tomorrow.


<<EXP #1.17

>>EXP #1.19

🍔 Cheeseburger. 



Turns out the phone wasn’t with Niyi. 

“Have you called it?” she asked from where she sat on the floor in Ofure’s room as Ofure used a blade on the weave-on sewed to her head, I had just narrated the whole story to her and my heart was beating extra fast, I hadn’t gotten to the end of the Twyse video I was watching for Chrissake!

“No, it’s on vibration” I answered crestfallen. 

“Doesn’t matter nah, you can still call it and open your ears very well, even vibration has sound” Ofure said not taking her eyes off Niyi’s hair.

“Here, use my phone” said Niyi, stretching out the phone to me. I called my line and it started ringing, carefully I made my way to where all the madness had started- Debby’s room “Have you seen it?” Aimee and Amen asked as I entered the room.

“No, I’m calling it right now” I said as I did a quick scan of the room and stepped out. It didn’t seem to be there, I moved on to my room, soft music met my ears as I entered, but it was coming from Leah’s phone. 

“I’m calling my phone” I said as I strained my ears for any sign of vibration. 

Nothing. This was already frustrating. 

I went back to Niyi feeling depressed and returned her phone to her.

I didn’t feel like going back to my room, I went to my other neighbour’s room instead. I couldn’t function well without knowing where my phone was and I wasn’t ready to deal with any pessimism from Leah. I said a quick prayer to God for the speedy recovery of my phone as I entered Taiye’s room. 

“Taiye, I’m looking for my phone” I told my friend before plopping down on her bed. 

“Your phone? I saw it with somebody outside your room a few minutes ago” Mo said before Taiye could even reply, I immediately shot up from where I sat.

“Who?” I asked eagerly. 

Mo scratched her head “I can’t remember, was it… I dunno” 

“Hey Ire, this is where you are sef,can I borrow your rollers?” Jane asked poking her head into Taiye’s room. 

“No problem, it’s in my table drawer” I answered dismissively, my mind reeling at the new piece of information. 

“I think it was Niyi or Angelique that I saw with your phone, I just can’t remember who, it was one of them sha” Mo said as Jane left, her face scrunched up in her thinking pose “I’m not sure, I don’t know whether it was Niyi or Angelique, but… I dunno” 

“Thanks Ire” Jane said stepping back into the room with my bag of bending rollers “Ehehn, Ire come and send the pictures that we snapped in class to me” 

“I can’t find my phone” I said to her. 

“Ahahn, isn’t it on your table?” Jane asked. 

“No, I left it on the railing, and I can find it” I replied. 

“No. It’s on your table, I just saw it now” Jane insisted and without pausing walked out of Taiye’s room into mine. 

“Isn’t this the phone?” 

My heart stuttered, Jane had never looked more beautiful standing in the doorway to Taiye’s room, holding my phone in her hand. 

“My God! Where did you see it” 

“It was on your table nah” Jane replied. 

I took the phone from her and went back to my room. My last roommate- Chika was sitting on her bunk. 

“Hey Chika, when did you come in?” I asked. 

“I saw you when you went to Ofure’s room to meet Niyi”

“Oh” I answered “Leah my phone came back” 

“Did it travel before?” Chika asked.

“It’s been missing for about 15 minutes now, abeg who entered this room this evening?”

“Where did you find it?” Leah asked. 

“Jane found it on my table just now, please you guys who entered this room” I said. 

“Umm, Angelique entered to return the toilet key, but she didn’t get to your table, she only entered gave me the key and stepped out” Chika said.

“Are you sure it was only Angelique that entered?”

Angelique? But I’ve already asked her about it, something just doesn’t add up here, something fundamental is missing, I can feel it. Something smells fishy

“Yes nah, we’re the only ones in the room” Chika said. 

“Are you sure you know nothing about my phone’s disappearance?” I said looking her straight in the eye.




I tease people a lot and Chika has been a major recipient of my taunts since we became roommates. 

“First off, I’d like to call you a shidiot because I wasn’t even in the room when your phone got missing, and why will I even take your phone?”

I laughed at the shidiot comment “I dunno why you will take my phone, that’s why I’m asking to be sure, anyways I’m sorry, but one last thing. Now are you trying to say that before God and man, you know nothing about the disappearance of my phone”

“No, before God and man I  know nothing” Chika replied instantly. 

“Leah, before God and man you nothing about the disappearance and reappearance of my phone” I directed the statement at Chika’s bunkmate.

“What kind of useless question is this? Your phone was found, and instead of you to go and think of being careful you are disturbing me” Leah answered. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m doing this because I know you are a God fearing person and I have to be sure of the person that took my phone so that I can conclude my investigation, I will not make you swear because Jesus categorically told us not to, but before God and man you know nothing about the disappearance and reappearance  of my phone ”

“Leave me alone joor” Leah said turning away from me. 

“No I can’t, I need you to answer”

“But you have found the phone, for all its worth you carelessly forgot it on your table”

“Yes but–

*sniff sniff* the fishy smell. 

“Leah, what aren’t you telling me” I finally found the missing piece of the puzzle. 

“Ehn?” she asked feigning ignorance. 

“What do you know about the disappearance of my phone?” I asked again. 

“Let’s go and meet Niyi” Leah said standing up. 

“Leah… ”

Shebi you want to know what happened to your phone, let’s go and meet Niyi” 

Leah led us (Chika, Taiye, Jane and me) 4 rooms down from ours to Ofure’s room. 

“Niyi, Ire wants me to swear as to whether or not I took her phone” Leah said as we walked in. 

“C’mon, don’t be silly, I’ll never ask you to swear” I countered. “I just wanted you to assure me before God and man that you know nothing about the disappearance and reappearance of my phone and you couldn’t”

“It was me” Niyi said “you left it about carelessly on the railing, so I gave it to Leah to hold on to it”

“We wanted to punish you for your carelessness and teach you a lesson so as not to do that next time” Leah continued. 

So that’s why she was epitomising an Angel of Doom throughout and scaring me shitless

“That’s why I was playing music when you were calling it so that I will drown the sound of the vibration” Leah continued. 

I couldn’t even reply. I had been played and I watched with eyes wide open as I realised Who Dunnit.


I can barely keep my eyes open right now I just had to type this and finish it.  Who Dunnit Yay! Oh my God, I’m so sleepy right now. 

Happy New Week Guys. Please only engage in productive stuff and use your time wisely. Go in grace and favour. 

My next post will be due on Friday. 


🍔 Cheeseburger. 




Oya who took my phone” I said, entering Debby’s room.

“Isn’t it with you? Shebi you were using it to watch videos just now?” Amiee said looking up from whatever she was doing.

“Amen, are you sure its not with you?” I asked.



Ever since I caught and exposed her stealing Kelechi’s water on her way to the toilet 3 weeks ago, we’d been at loggerheads. Before I caught her, I was the no. 1 person who used to steal Kelechi’s water, having someone else steal from Kelechi on a day I wasn’t actually stealing her water was an added advantage I fully exploited that night. Amen had tried to get back at me, the next week when I entered her room, herself and Amiee had carried me out by my hands and legs, ever since then I made it my duty to antagonise her in any way possible.

“Ire, don’t disturb me, its not with me” she said looking up from her phone.

“But you were rinsing your hand when I went to the common room, how can it not be you?”

“Oooohhhh, you this girl you’ve come again. I didn’t take your phone, why don’t you ask Debby, she was using the phone with you”





Debby has been a major recipient of my pranks since the beginning of the semester and I’ve been teasing her an awful lot lately, she might want to get even by playing a prank of her own in return. 

“Debby are you with my phone?” she was in the next room gisting with Ngozi 

“No nah isn’t it with you?” Debby replied. 

“I dropped it on the railing when I was rinsing my hand and it’s not there any more” I replied. 

“Wait, it’s not like you left it in our room you even dropped it on the railing” Aimee said from her room window

“Yes, I dropped it when I went to throw my tangerine peels away” I answered re-entering her room “Did you take it?” 




Asides constantly disturbing her, there was a time at the beginning of the semester that I carried some clothes out of her wardrobe and put them in an empty wardrobe two rooms away from hers, this would be a very good way for her to get back at me. 

“No, I’ve not left the room at all” she replied. 

“Are you sure?” I asked, she rolled her eyes at me and picked a book off her table to read. 

Where could the phone be? Think Ire think. 

I stepped into my room “Leah, I can’t find my phone” I said to my roommate 

“What?! How come?”she exclaimed 

“I left it on the railing” I said

“Why? Are you sure they’ve not stolen it like this?”

My heart skipped a beat “God forbid, don’t say that”

“Okay, sorry but, it’s missing, what’s the guarantee that it will come back?” I scratched my eye as I always did when I got nervous “I dunno” I began not so sure of myself anymore. My laptop had been stolen last semester, it was just like this when it first got missing till I never set my eyes on it again.

I gulped audibly. Oh God, please have mercy. 

“It can’t be stolen” I said, and even I didn’t have much faith in my own words any more “It can’t be stolen, somebody is playing a prank”

“Wasn’t that what we said when Tunde’s phone got missing last year?” 

“Leah!” I exclaimed “stop it you’re scaring me here”

“I’m sorry, but you can never be too sure”

I pressed my fingers against the sides of my head, a cold feeling was developing in my chest and I didn’t like it at all. I closed my eyes and tried to think of the people that passed my room in those few minutes, even if the phone was stolen- which it wasn’t, it couldn’t have gone far. I remembered seeing Angelique and Niyi walking down the corridor.




Fortunately, I haven’t pranked Niyi before, at least not consciously, and I can’t think up a reason for her to have taken my phone. 

“Wait a sec, where is Niyi, she was walking down the corridor around that time” I asked Leah.

“Dunno, I heard her say she wanted to loosen her hair, so you think it’s with Niyi?”

“Yes, maybe she saw it and helped me keep it”


Leah’s Angel of Doom talk was most appreciably cut off as Angelique entered the room “Hey guys” she said. 

I heaved a sigh of relief “Angelique, I was about to come looking for you”

“What’s up?” she asked 




Angelique is one of the coolest people I know, as in she personifies the expression cool as a cucumber. Hmmn, maybe she was a cucumber in her past life *facepalm* what am I saying? I can’t think up and reason as to why Angelique would take my phone though. 

“I’m looking for my phone, did you by any chance help me see it as you were walking down the corridor?”

“No, I haven’t seen it, I even came here to ask for the key to the toilet” Angelique replied. 

I picked up the key and handed it to her “Niyi” I said “the phone must be with Niyi, she must have seen it and kept it for me, where is Niyi?”

“But, what if the phone isn’t with Niyi? What will you do then?” Leah who was always pointing out the bright side of every situation asked. 

“The phone must be with Niyi. Where is Niyi” I asked no one in particular as I stepped out of my room.

“Funminiyi!” I shouted as I stepped into the corridor “Niyi where are you?”


Dun! Dun!! Dun!!! 

Niyi better be with that phone sha.
Hey guys! How’s your weekend going? Mine is so stressful I want to cry. From meetings to notes and assignments and other stuff, I’m so tired, but I just had to post this ’cause I love you guys.

Next post tomorrow, don’t forget to A.N.T.I.C.I.P.A.T.E

🍔 Cheeseburger out.