At His Feet

2017: LESSONS LEARNT 

LESSONS THE HOLY SPIRIT TAUGHT ME ON PATIENCE

2017 has been a wonderful year for me quite frankly, I did things I’d never have thought myself capable of doing and accomplished some wonderful feats. All these beautiful reports didn’t happen overnight mind you, there was always a constant effort to push and keep pushing, there were lots of frustrating moments, depressing moments, and even sad ones. There was a lot of trial and error involved in my learning process and also times I hated myself for not being good enough and for not being up to standard.

Through it all however, God’s Holy Spirit was there with me to guard, to guide and to teach, and I want to share with you the lesson I learnt on patience this year.

If you ever ask me ‘what fruit of the Spirit do you exercise the least?’ I don’t think I’ll even give a thought before I mention patience. I always tell people that when God was creating me, and depositing in me attributes for my personality, he ran out of stock on patience and just had to send me down to earth without it.

I hate waiting; patience to me is more of a waste of time than a virtue. 

I hate waiting in line, I hate waiting for food, I hate waiting for people, I hate waiting for my phone to stop hanging, I hate waiting for anything and everything! Worse off, I hate waiting for myself. I love learning new things, however, if I don’t learn as quickly as I usually do, I start hating myself for not being good enough, I start hating myself for not being able to do whatever, all because I’m not patient enough to wait for myself to learn. If I’m wearing a fitted long skirt and I have to take short steps as I walk I can’t bear to be patient enough to wait for one foot to land on the ground as I walk. It’s that bad.

In my journey with God and relationship with Him, I hate that I’m at one level of my spiritual life and moving forward is such a long and slow process. God had to teach me this year, that there is a process to things, you don’t just emerge. A flower doesn’t just bloom; a caterpillar doesn’t just become a butterfly, in life there is a metamorphosis process that can never be ignored. 

I learnt that there is a process to everything and you don’t just emerge, you have to be patient and you have to trust the process.

I was listening to Travis Greene’s ‘You Waited’ last night and I realised just how patient God is. He also wants to see us bloom and emerge as beautiful butterflies, but He knows He has to take us through a making process and He does so patiently, even when we mess up, even when we fail. He patiently takes us back to the drawing board and teaches us everything we need to learn. I went back to all the times in my life that my parents, my teachers, my friends and loved ones, just weren’t patient enough with me, I recollected their disappointments, frustrations, anger and annoyance and I tried to imagine if God ever had any of those feelings towards me. I recalled all the times I’d given up on certain things, all the times I’d gone into depression and hated myself just because I couldn’t be patient enough to allow myself learn, and I realised that God was still there, patiently waiting to teach me. Even when I sinned He patiently waited for me to come back to him.

All the times I wasn’t patient enough for me, he was always there waiting patiently.

I learnt that God didn’t run out of stock on patience when creating me, I know that I am created in His likeness; if he can be patient, so can I.

I know that all his works are good, and I am assured that as He created me, he put in a good measure of patience, I just find it hard to exercise the patience he gave me that’s all. I’m going to have to dig deep and ask the Holy Spirit to help me find the patience that He deposited in me from creation and help me to use it maximally.

Where would I be, if you left me?


In all honesty, I really don’t want to know. I don’t want to know where I would be if God hadn’t waited, just so he could teach me patience.

What Amazing Grace, that you’ve shown so patiently,

And you waited for me, just for me

Oh oh oh.

Thank you Jesus, for Amazing Grace.

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Words On Marble

XL

Once upon a time, in a place I cannot name and a time I can not reveal. There was a man, his name was XL. 

XL’s mother had died giving birth to him and his father had been his only guardian, he grew up a very lonely child, by the time he was 6 years old his father married again. Her name was Eleanor; Eleanor was unable to have any children due to a genetic diesease, XL was an answer to her prayers, he was the son she would never have been able to have. 

Slowly but surely, XL and his new mother formed a strong bond. His father was barely around always going around the world on business trips, it was just XL and his mom. Eleanor trained and taught her son, teaching him manners, taking him to church, counseling him and all.

Unfortunately, disaster struck soon and at age 15 XL lost his second mother. He had been very reserved, very stubborn and difficult in his childhood, but his mother’s death made him shut himself from the world. He only ever communicated with his childhood friends freely, others could barely get a word from his mouth.

XL’s father decided to send him to military school a year later when he started acting up, his step-grandmother who had accepted to be his guardian could barely keep him in check. From military school XL went on to enlist in the army in a bid to run away from his lonely and empty life back at home, he was also searching for something, he didn’t know what, he initially thought he was searching for death and the adrenaline that comes with action on the battle front, he soon came to realise that was not what he had been searching for. 3 years I to his military career he was advised to withdraw, although XL was a good soldier and an excellent marksman, he was driven to near insanity, insomnia and suffered heavily from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). 

He was in a military rehabilitation centre for 10 months before he was let out into the civilian world again and in those 10 months his step-grandmother, Mrs Helen had come to see him every week. At first, he was unaccomodating of the old woman, but he soon came to love her. Mrs Helen listened to him talk about his military career and immediately knew what exactly XL had been searching for when he entered military service. 

“XL, it’s not love or fulfillment or adrenaline or any of that, that you were searching for when you joined the military” Mrs Helen told her step-grandson, a couple of years later as she lay on her death bed “You were searching for what every human soul searches for in this life and it can only be found in one place. There is only one person who can give you the rest that your soul most desperately desires and his name is Jesus.”

XL shook his head in tears as he held the hand of this old lady that he had come to love over the past years “God? Nah, he gave up on me a long time ago”

“No XL, he never did, he’s been waiting for you for so long, he’s crazy in love with you, he’s desperate for you, he has your name engraved in the palm of his hand, his angels are ready to throw a huge coming home party just for you in heaven if you surrender yourself to him” Mrs Helen said. 

XL shook his head yet again “Even if all that is true, it’s too late for me”

Mrs Helen squeezed XL’s head “It’s never too late for anyone who’s willing to give God a chance, the only time it’ll ever be too late for you is when you die without him, it’s not too late XL”

“You don’t get me, Grandma” XL said “Do you know the things I’ve done? The people I’ve killed? All the things I’ve entangled myself in over the years? I can’t even begin to tell you the half of things I did even before I joined the military. It’s too late for me Grandma, I’m too far gone, don’t you get it? I’m in too deep. There’s no hope for a person like me”

“Come now, and let us reason together, saith the Lord” Mrs Helen began “though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they be red like crimson, they shall be as wool.”

“What?” XL asked? 

“If ye be willing and obedient, ye shall eat the good of the land” Mrs Helen continued.

“You think you are too far gone, but God has promised that no matter how filthy you are inside, no matter what awful things you may have done, if you are willing and obedient, he will cleanse you by himself. If your sins are as scarlet, they shall be made like snow, even though they are red as crimson, they shall be made like wool. XL, God’s hands are not shortened to save, don’t undermine his power; his ears are not heavy not to hear you when you call out to him. Sweetheart, give God a chance. Just give him a chance and obey him and he’ll change your life completely.

“Promise me”

“Huh?” XL looked up at his Grandma 

“Promise me you’ll give Jesus a chance. XL I need you to promise me that for the next 1 year at least, you will give Jesus a chance, talk to him, he listens to you; read the Bible start from the 4 Gospels hear what Jesus has to say and you’ll see that you aren’t too far gone. You’re right where he needs you to be”

_____________

Isaiah 59:1 KJV

Behold, the Lord’s hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear.

Talk to God, he’s listening. 

Lovely thoughts for lovely people. 

👑 Àyànfé (the King’s Beloved)

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